Mao Mao, who talks too much
—how to nurture a child's excessive desire to perform?Five-year-old Mao Mao is a source of great distress for his parents because he talks far too much.
Mao Mao is one of those children who started talking relatively late. But once he learned to speak, he became extremely talkative, either talking to himself or telling stories to his toy dolls. After starting kindergarten, he talked even more. Every day when he came home, his little mouth wouldn't stop, talking about things in his life, stories from cartoons…
One day, his father asked his mother, puzzled, "Does the teacher not allow talking at kindergarten? Why does he talk so much when he sees us?"
His mother was also worried, so she called the kindergarten teacher. The teacher said, "We were just about to talk to you. Mao Mao is adapting well in other aspects, but he talks too much. He talks to the other children in class too. We don't dare let him sit with the other children, otherwise the children will definitely listen to Mao Mao and won't hear what the teacher is saying. Children at three years old already have a sense of rules. Let's work together to correct Mao Mao's incessant talking habit. Otherwise, it will be even more troublesome when he starts primary school."
Following the kindergarten teacher's advice, the couple began to gradually guide their child to talk less. They tried everything, but nothing worked.
What could they do? They consulted many psychologists. However, the doctors had conflicting opinions. Some said it was normal for children to talk; others said that children talk because they have a desire to express themselves and are curious, and forcibly stopping them could harm their mental health.
For a time, Mao Mao's parents were at a loss.
In-depth Case Analysis
Talkative children are very common. They talk to others when they are around, and mutter to themselves or talk to their toys when no one is around. Some parents are happy to have such children, as it indicates an outgoing personality and good communication skills later in life. Other parents, however, find it incredibly annoying to have a little one constantly chattering in their ears. Especially when the parents have turned off the lights and put the child to sleep, and the little one is still talking to themselves, the parents can't help but criticize and scold them.
However, there are several reasons why children love to talk:
1. The Need for Language Development
Children often start talking a lot during their babbling stage. During this period, children's precocious pronunciation and language abilities often attract parents' attention, praise, and surprise. The more encouragement adults give, the more talkative these children become.
Children around three or four years old are in a period of peak language development, and most daily conversations are learned during this time. At this age, children are very talkative, enjoying not only talking to others but also to themselves.
2. Due to Personality
A child's love of talking is related to their personality. Generally, extroverted and naturally lively children are either active or talkative. These children are keen on self-expression and are full of interest and questions about the unknown world, thus becoming fond of asking questions or talking, enjoying expressing themselves through speech, and exploring the unknown world.
3. Strong Desire for Expression
In daily life, many children have a strong curiosity, enjoying observing and asking questions. Whether they see something new or learn new knowledge, they are eager to share it with others. For example, after learning a nursery rhyme from their kindergarten teacher, they like to sing it to their mother or family at home, seeking attention, commentary, recognition, or praise from their parents or family.
4. Seeking Parental Attention
Many children talk a lot because they feel their parents don't care for or love them enough. They try to attract their parents' attention by talking incessantly, hoping they'll be talked to more, have more focus on them, and spend more time with them instead of watching TV or playing computer games.
5. Lack of Security
Three- or four-year-old children often experience feelings of insecurity, which parents often fail to notice for various reasons. To dispel this insecurity, children choose to talk as a way to cope.
Psychologist's Advice
A talkative child indicates quick thinking, creativity, constructiveness, and logical reasoning. Talkative children are usually polite and likeable. However, if your child is constantly chattering in your ear, you probably won't like it and might even find it annoying.
If you don't want to hurt your child, remember that you need to find the right reason for their talkativeness and guide them, not scold or reprimand them.
1. Make the Child Feel Loved
A child's love of talking and expressing themselves is a positive psychological quality. If a child's desire to express themselves is satisfied, they will feel a sense of accomplishment, which will motivate them to explore new problems and acquire new knowledge. Therefore, if a child loves to talk, parents must be patient, nurture this desire, and guide the child to express themselves appropriately. Otherwise, it will dampen the child's enthusiasm for speaking and harm their desire to express themselves.
At the same time, parents should pay more attention to their children in daily life and not neglect them because of busy work schedules. Parents should spend more time with their children, chatting in a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere, and caring about their thoughts and feelings. Don't think that just because your child is three or four years old and can take care of themselves, you can relax and waste precious time on meaningless entertainment. Children at this age are most prone to insecurity, which they may express as excessive talking. No matter what the child does, parents must love them wholeheartedly. When children feel this love, they will reduce excessive talking caused by a lack of security or insufficient parental attention.
2. Using Distraction Techniques
Many times, children talk incessantly because they are bored. At this time, parents can try to divert the child's attention. For example, encourage children to draw, play with toys, or look at picture books. This not only attracts their attention and allows their thinking to flourish, but it can also keep them quiet.
In addition, parents can encourage children to participate in more outdoor activities, such as soccer, cycling, and rollerblading. These activities can also attract their attention.
3. Positive Guidance
If you observe carefully, you will find that talkative children often use different sentences to express the same meaning; they may even practice how to use words more appropriately. This process of refining their language is perceived by parents as excessive talking.
Talkative children often do so because they want to express themselves. Parents can provide positive guidance, encouraging and guiding children to create their own stories and tell them in an organized manner.
Furthermore, parents should read to their children more often, showing them picture books, allowing them to experience the difference between written and spoken language, and expanding their vocabulary. This is more beneficial for children to express their thoughts.
4. Sense of Rules
Parents should help children distinguish between situations where they cannot speak freely and situations where they can speak freely. For example, tell children that they shouldn't talk while eating, in class, sleeping, doing homework, or reading; they need to ask permission beforehand if they want to speak. This way, the child's strengths are utilized while also developing polite habits.
5. Create Opportunities for Language Expression
For children who enjoy talking, parents should create more opportunities for them to express themselves. For example, before bedtime each day, ask the child to talk about their day or tell mom and dad a nice story, encouraging them to express themselves.
Besides allowing children to express themselves freely in front of family, parents should also create opportunities for them to express themselves with courage and confidence in front of strangers. For example, at a friend's birthday party, ask your child to tell a story to the other children; during kindergarten group activities, ask your child to sing a song, recite a poem, or tell a story. Parents can also take talkative children to learn hosting, public speaking, or drama. This not only satisfies the child's psychological need to express themselves but also develops their eloquence and courage, which is very beneficial to their growth.
Comments
Post a Comment