I went back to my hometown for the Mid-Autumn Festival. The town was desolate, almost entirely populated by elderly people. While packing up various local specialties at the market entrance, I heard a scream, and then I saw Yang's mother. She looked at me with surprise, then, ignoring my reply, said, "So that's how I found out about Yang Jiale's marriage." Her evaluation of her daughter-in-law was—"She's very caring; the soup she makes has even helped nourish her son's health."
I quickly replied obsequiously, "That's wonderful! Congratulations!" Sure enough, I was greeted by Yang's mother's hand. She touched my hand and said, "Xiao Qi, don't bother anymore, settle down and start a family."
I felt instantly dejected. Bearing the expectations of my elders, I slowly walked home. A while later, I received a text message from an unknown number: "My mom said you went back to your hometown. Are you doing well?"
I didn't reply.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven—how many years have passed?
1.
On the afternoon of July 12, 2006, a torrential downpour began. I sat under the eaves of the house, without my keys. Yang Jiale, you came running downstairs with a big black umbrella, beaming, and sat down next to me. I have to admit, I was incredibly excited that day. Raindrops soaked my pink tank top, slightly revealing my old-fashioned off-white bra underneath. I noticed your ears were red, then quickly spread to your cheeks. You asked if I'd applied to South China University of Technology, and I squinted and said, "Yes."
You just grinned foolishly.
Actually, I lied to you.
I secretly filled out my application for Animal Nutrition and Feed at Beijing Agricultural University—such an absurd major! Later I learned it's commonly known as the "Pig Farming Department." Of course, I wasn't crazy to fall in love with this bizarre field; it's just that the handsome guy in the next class had four choices in Beijing, and my score barely made the cut. I know Yang's parents had already pulled strings at South China University of Technology, just waiting for us, childhood sweethearts, to get in smoothly. But, Yang Jiale, your wish is destined to be dashed. Who can blame them when Su Qili has fallen in love?
At 18, a girl who isn't particularly pretty would rather choose a handsome boy as her boyfriend to satisfy her vanity and provide something to brag about.
However, things didn't go as planned. The handsome guy unsurprisingly went to Beijing, while I, without warning, was admitted early and inexplicably ended up in the Police Academy of Political Science and Law, my dorm five subway stops away from your school. In fact, this convenient distance didn't make us feel any closer; on the contrary, besides freeloading off you, I repeatedly stood you up when you came to visit. You fed two people with your own living expenses, while I used two months' worth of savings to go to Beijing.
Yang Jiale, your well-intentioned reminder—too much of a good thing, to protect yourself—was ignored.
What was I afraid of? I was invincible in my youth, invincible in my bravery, invincible in my ninja skills.
2.
The youthful and brave Su Qili is now alone in Shanghai.
The weather here is humid, and in the summer, large flying cockroaches often appear everywhere. At first, I would squat on the table, tears welling in my eyes, and scream. Later, I gradually got used to staring at them. One night, I was sleeping soundly when I suddenly felt something crawling. I slapped it down, and a thick liquid shot out. Turning on the light, I found the disgusting-looking cockroach dead on my hand. I vomited uncontrollably in the bathroom. Yang Jiale, I thought of you.
You went to Shenzhen after your junior year, and I went to join you a year later. For the first three months, I comfortably occupied your bedroom in your one-bedroom apartment and enjoyed your cooking. You wore plaid shirts of different colors, like countless IT elites—naive and rich. The girl next door, with her typical Cantonese looks, started sending all sorts of soups to our house regularly after finding out I wasn't your girlfriend. Even I could see her ulterior motives, but you just innocently said, "Thank you, thank you." One day,
you were helping her in the kitchen when I screamed in the living room. You dropped the nourishing soup she had just served you, shattering it on the floor, and rushed out, anxiously asking what was wrong.
I said, "Cockroaches."
You were chasing them around the house with a programming manual as thick as a dictionary, while the girl making soup in the kitchen, her eyes red with tears, stomped her feet and said, "Su Qili, you've gone too far! What do you want?"
I shrugged expressionlessly. "
I don't want anything. Didn't you hear the Bible say it's voluntary?"
3.
When I was dating the handsome guy from the next class, I went to Beijing four times a year, but he never came to see me. He said he didn't like Wuhan, didn't like the chattering accents of Wuhan people. In 2008, during the Beijing Olympics, the handsome guy became a volunteer and was very busy. I missed him so much that I skipped class to see him. I called him excitedly at the train station, and he was a little stunned after hearing my voice. After a while, he said, "Qili, you should go back. I have to go to rehearsal later." I
was at the train station, carrying a Zhou Hei Ya (a brand of braised duck neck) and crying my eyes out. That year, the train doors were covered with signs saying "Beijing Welcomes You." I wondered, in a relationship, is the one who isn't loved the one who isn't welcomed?
My boyfriend and I broke up quickly. That year's Olympic opening ceremony was particularly exciting, and I spent countless nights drinking and watching the games with a group of friends. My slightly depressed and disillusioned state attracted the pretty boy in my department who looked like Daniel Wu. After a month of going from eating, shopping, and watching movies to holding hands and kissing, I asked him if he would love me forever. He answered, "Forever." So I agreed to live with him and moved off-campus.
I know you were shocked when you came to see me; I was dressed in shabby clothes, fighting with the pretty boy for the computer in my dirty room. I wanted to tidy up for you, but you've seen me disheveled before. In the end, you treated us, who were broke, to dinner at the best restaurant on campus. Although you ordered my favorite dish, chopped chili fish head, you also told me not to eat too much strong flavor, as it's bad for my health. I've always known you have a light palate.
They say people with light palates have tolerant and compassionate hearts.
My boyfriend, a pretty boy, mocked you, saying how a grown man could be so timid, and then ordered a dozen beers to challenge you to a drinking contest.
You downed a bottle in one gulp and then ignored him completely. Drunk, he cursed you, calling you a nobody, but I knew you genuinely looked down on him. Before leaving, you suddenly grabbed my hand and said, "This man is unreliable."
Later I learned that it was because of this trip that you gave up your guaranteed postgraduate admission and decided to work in Shenzhen. You probably couldn't bear to see me in such a miserable state.
Yang Jiale, you were right again. Two months later, I got into a fight with "Little Daniel Wu" outside the arcade at school. He viciously pushed me to the ground, then took our last 200 yuan into the arcade. Inside was a gambling machine called the "Apple Machine," where he had already lost a month's living expenses.
I lay on the ground, clutching my stomach in pain, unable to stand. It turned out I was two months pregnant.
He stretched out his hands and uttered two words: "No money."
Later, you flew in from Shenzhen, pulled me out of that swampy little hut, and gave that pretty boy a good slap. You yelled, your neck red, that I should show you what a real man is.
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