Housing: In Europe, no matter how wealthy the parents are, they don't provide anything for their children's marriage. Therefore, Europeans often have "naked weddings" (marrying without any financial support), renting a place together and buying a house later when they have more money. Renting isn't a problem because the law protects housing prices; they're very cheap and only increase slightly each year. Excessive increases are illegal. Furthermore, housing prices are low in Europe, and it's normal for someone with a legitimate job (like a salesperson, white-collar worker, or restaurant server) to own a house by age 30.
Cars: The difference between China and Europe is that Europe has many subways and buses, so it's never crowded; there are always seats, and often plenty of empty ones. So I don't think cars are really necessary. However, a car is useful for weekend trips to the suburbs. But in Europe, whenever I want to travel, I just rent a car, which is convenient and allows me to try out different models.
Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law relationship: I have absolutely no mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship issues. At my mother-in-law's house, I don't do any chores. She says it's her kitchen, and I'm a guest. Of course, when my mother-in-law comes to my house, she doesn't do anything either, because she's a guest. In short, it's about mutual respect, maintaining distance, and not interfering with each other. My mother-in-law loves me very much. When my husband told me about the pressure I faced finding a job after graduating with my master's degree, she said to me, "Why do you have to work? Nobody forces you to work! Isn't it better to enjoy life?"
Regarding work: My husband is the type who never works overtime. His job, whether in Japan or China, requires working until midnight, sometimes even several days in a row. But he goes straight home after work and won't even go drinking with colleagues. Anyway, I've always wanted to marry a Chinese person, but now seeing the hardships of life for many Chinese people, I feel I shouldn't dwell on it anymore. Among the foreigners I know who are seriously dating and married, the husbands are incredibly doting on their Chinese wives, spoiling them without any worries, and letting their Chinese wives manage the finances.
Regarding retirement: I've instilled the concept of raising children to provide for old age in China in my husband for a long time, so that my parents can be supported in their old age. My husband understands this very well. However, his parents don't need a penny from us; they have comprehensive pension insurance and free medical care, so raising children for them isn't really for old-age security. My mother-in-law said the purpose of raising children is simply to enjoy the happiness they bring as they grow up, nothing more. So, although I was divorced in China and have a child from my previous marriage, my new family welcomes my child, and my mother-in-law loves my son. Initially, because I couldn't find a suitable man in China and didn't want to settle, I consulted a dating website about overseas marriage services. When the relationship counselor told me that foreigners like children, I was a little skeptical. But now, through my company, I've married into a European family, and I believe it. The reason is that in China, having multiple children means a huge expense, while in Europe, the government covers the children's education, nutrition, and medical care, making raising children stress-free and naturally appealing.
Extramarital affairs: This is a major misconception among Chinese people. They think all foreigners like to play with emotions. I feel that young, unsettled foreigners do enjoy playing around, but after marriage, they take family life very seriously. Because no one or societal pressures them to marry at a certain age, their decision to marry shows they've seriously considered it. Therefore, many surveys show that highly educated foreigners have a very low divorce rate. This is quite strange. I wonder why divorce is related to education level?
"A wife who has shared hardship should not be abandoned": Haha, European laws especially protect women, perhaps because there are too many stay-at-home wives. If the husband files for divorce, not only does he have to give more than half of the property to his ex-wife, but in my country, the man also has to continue paying all future alimony to his ex-wife. So, even after a divorce, a man has to continue supporting his ex-wife for life. A male friend of mine gives 70% of his salary to his ex-wife and children every month, and he regrets it so much now and wants to remarry her… Looking at the new marriage law, it seems wrong for women to ask for a house and car before marriage, but there's really no way to protect women. Women sacrifice their careers and have children for men, only to get nothing in the end after a divorce.
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