Actually, life isn't always satisfactory. However, I've found that my current mindset is quite good. I'm not making things difficult for myself, and no matter how smooth or bumpy life gets, it doesn't cause me too much harm. Hey, it seems I've cultivated myself a bit! Buddha has saved me from the sea of suffering; before I even turned back, I'd already found the shore.
So, I'm a little smug. But it's also the truth. Apart from my closest family and loved ones, everything else seems much lighter in my eyes; I no longer value it as much. The more you value, the more tired you become; the less you value, the easier it is. Perhaps after experiencing various things, I've suddenly realized this.
It turns out that when your heart is simple, life becomes simple as well. I'm not a complicated person. As for ambition, of course, I have some. Who doesn't want a good reputation or to be a minor or major official? Who doesn't want some money to realize their life's dreams? However, it's about not pursuing them excessively. Regarding work, I'm gradually losing the same obsession I had when I first started working. Doing well or poorly isn't the main thing; the key is character, financial stability, and the ability to mediate between different parties. A comprehensive consideration of these factors makes things much easier. However, I don't want to get involved in that kind of whirlpool. If I had to choose, I still prefer my current lifestyle—leisurely and free, with time to do things I enjoy.
Life is a grand ball. Everyone is a dancer in their own life. Even if you don't admit it, you've never stopped dancing for a moment. And the most important part of life is finding a suitable dance partner. This dance partner not only refers to a life partner but also includes friends of the same or opposite sex with whom we have a good rapport—our partners. A spouse is a special kind of dance partner on the stage of life, occupying a significant portion of everyone's life. Dance! It's best if you dance in harmony; if not, you need to change partners. A spouse is the most interdependent and enduring pair in life. All other dancers are supporting roles.
As for the supporting role's partner, dancing well can also be wonderful. Beyond these two types, there's another, like myself—the most pitiful and poignant type, the solo dancer. In others' eyes, I'm a loser in this world. I don't see anything wrong with it myself. It's tiring, but I'm free, with fewer regrets, yet also more. When I'm alone, I'm pleasantly surprised to feel that I'm still myself, not someone I feel alien to. However, dealing with others gives me a headache. Being simple-minded and straightforward, I'm not good at figuring out others' intentions, as long as there's no malice.
Life's stage sometimes changes scenery. It prompts us to turn at certain moments, change our perspective, or choose a different stage backdrop, which can enrich and make life more exciting.
Now, at this age, looking back on my childhood and adolescence, there's a lot of melancholy, but even more beautiful memories. Those small moments of melancholy are etched very clearly in my heart. Today, I'm thinking, what are my regrets from childhood and adolescence until now? And what are my regrets today? Will my regrets increase many years from now? Have some regrets been transformed into something no longer regrettable by the flowing time? Or have they been lessened somewhat?
I have this inexplicable feeling that being human is better than being a plant; all animals capable of movement are far superior to plants. Animals can move within a certain range, while plants, whether they have feelings or not, cannot move. I once read a story about two trees in love, gazing at each other for a lifetime, yet only able to look from afar and never be together. Every spring, the male and female trees sang songs, using the wind as their medium to complete their union. Compared to animal love, is such love unfortunate or blissful? Is it a mistake that I prefer to be a creature capable of movement? Movement is better than stillness, because movement allows one to fulfill many worldly desires. But is inactivity bad? Inactivity doesn't necessarily mean unhappiness. Because of peace and less observation, one resides in one's own tranquility. Chinese martial arts emphasize using stillness to control movement; plants unknowingly become a fixed reference point. What is the mystery behind this? A while ago, there was a Wenchuan earthquake; I heard that two mountains merged into one. Upon hearing this, I was suddenly moved. A love story between two mountains? How many years of romance had it unfolded! "Until the mountains crumble and the heavens and earth unite, I will never part from you!" Now, though heaven and earth haven't united, the two mountains have unexpectedly become one. Their destiny has weathered countless storms, finally culminating in this happy ending. How could one not be moved?
Life is a journey; a good journey is like a graceful dance, a poor one like a dull, uninteresting play. And plants? Just because they can't walk, does that mean they can't dance? Not at all! They are dancers of the soul! They have their own world of spirit! And if you think about it carefully, plants aren't just souls without thoughts. It's said that a tree that always listens to music will emit a subtle fragrance and its leaves will sway gently when it hears music. Clearly, they truly possess perception. Whenever I see leaves dancing in the wind, my heart trembles. In my eyes, the wind makes every tree dance, doesn't it?
I am a simple yet thoughtful person. My mind is rarely blank. It's always navigating between the past, present, and future. Fortunately, these intricate thoughts are channeled into my beloved writing, while I don't intend to neglect my relationships. I don't want to be overly complicated in my interactions. As long as interpersonal relationships aren't too strained, I have nothing to complain about.
Young people say I live a dull life, not knowing how to enjoy it; older friends say I devote too much energy to writing, neglecting myself. These well-intentioned words don't move me. If what I do is what I love, the joy of being immersed in it is my greatest reward—what else matters? Tired and weary, painful yet happy!
In my view, what is true freedom in life? It's being able to remain unperturbed by external factors, unenslaved by material possessions, and to dedicate oneself to what one loves. Whether young people call me foolish or older generations say I'm stubborn, I accept it all, and I smile, unwilling to change these qualities. Be myself, be my true self, even if not entirely for myself, at least I've achieved more than half! That's fortunate!
I know a friend in a prominent position, yet he still wants to climb higher. I find this kind of person both strange and understandable. Lured by worldly fame and fortune, he can't discern the direction of his life. Having ideals isn't bad, but what I despise most is his obsequious attitude. His behavior towards national elders is somewhat sycophantic, at least that's how I see it. Therefore, I feel a slight disdain for him. Perhaps his actions aren't inherently wrong, but they just don't make me comfortable. Being tactful and diplomatic is better than being servile. It feels like he lacks backbone! He said he's taken a teacher, a master of Chinese studies. I listened without saying a word. In my opinion, it's not arrogance, but I don't particularly appreciate some of the master's writings. Ah! Perhaps it's just a difference in aesthetics! But my friend of mine, after becoming someone's apprentice, would have been fine. At most, he'd be seen as someone who sought a master for the sake of his future. But this guy calls himself a slave! I just don't understand! Why not be a decent person, a proper apprentice, and instead become a slave? His life's journey has been somewhat ungraceful. Even if he saw some of the prestige he wanted at the time, what's the reality? I don't deny that many people have taken shortcuts by becoming apprentices, and I think that if someone truly deserves to be your teacher in your chosen field, becoming an apprentice isn't impossible. The key is sincerity, not trying to take a shortcut by becoming an apprentice of a famous person. Such a path isn't exactly honorable!
But such a person is still considered decent. Then there are those who, for their own comfort, arbitrarily tread the path of life. They jump from one trick to another, confusing not only those around them but even themselves. Such people can only be considered passable as human beings!
Some people live for enjoyment; some for work; some for romance; some for a simple life. All these preferences vary from person to person. If you can't dance the dance of life well, then walk! Even a stroll is fine; it's a solo performance you put on yourself. Living is for yourself; in principle, align with society; in small matters, just be true to your conscience.
I recalled the dinner invitation I had made a few days ago. I thought it would be a small gathering of like-minded people, but when I arrived, it turned out to be just one woman and two men in a dimly lit teahouse. The woman sat next to one of the men, and the seat they had reserved for me was right next to the other man's seat. I felt a sense of unease. But I was already there, and I couldn't just turn around and leave like a child. They were friends, after all, so I reluctantly sat down and listened to their idle chatter. Looking at the woman, who was about my age, I instinctively assumed she was part of the same circle, so I kindly greeted her and asked, "Are you also a **enthusiast?" The man next to me, whom I had met once before, lightly kicked me under the table. I immediately knew I had made a mistake. "Oh, so that's how it is!" The woman remained silent, and I didn't say anything more. The meal was both infuriating and unpleasant. The man in the couple was a friend I had known for a long time, who had always seemed so proper. How could he be such a hypocrite? The woman served him very attentively, and I turned my face away until I had nowhere left to turn. The man beside the woman was someone I'd known for about two years. At that moment, he kept mentioning this accomplished gentleman beside me, a literary giant, a "young man" nearing fifty. I chuckled inwardly, thinking he was some seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl. I chuckled and, instead of drinking wine, plied the three of them with tea until they were all quite drunk. What kind of dance of life is this? Ah! It's hard to say! I've realized I've truly changed. I'm no longer so sharp-edged; I can tolerate a little, within my limits. Back then, if I said the wrong thing, I'd immediately turn and walk away. Now, have I matured? Have I grown up?
It seems that what suits me best for life is to be the only one sober when everyone else is drunk. Then, I'll return to my little nest, a solitary lamp, to record all my reflections on life. Dancing for words, whether it's joyful or not, I can't say! Life is a mystery; let's move forward! Wherever it leads, that's where it comes from! Enjoying the pleasures of words isn't so bad!
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