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Unquenchable Sorrow

 　　If you have something on your mind, who do you want to confide in first? Is it family, friends, a lover, or do you choose to process and vent on your own? Thinking about myself, I still prefer to confide in words. After all, I feel that words are my best friend.

　　Reflecting on what I've experienced this year, there have been very few happy moments. For someone with epilepsy, every day is either taking medication or on my way to take medication. In recent years, I've also developed polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and recently I even had polyp removal surgery in the hospital. A few days in the hospital led to the discovery of other health problems. My body is constantly experiencing various issues, to the point that I seem to have become a walking pharmacy.

　　For me now, the thing I dislike most is taking medication! I have to take multiple medications in one day, several different medications for different conditions. It's either anti-epileptic drugs, medications for PCOS or menstrual regulation, or medications for iron-deficiency anemia. It's a pity my health prevents me from drinking; otherwise, I really, really want to get drunk and try to forget these sorrows and troubles. There's no one suitable to confide in, and most of the time I can only bear it all alone. Even today, listening to my favorite songs on repeat at home can't dispel these sorrows and troubles. Only those who have experienced the same things can truly empathize with your feelings—that's absolutely true.

　　The sorrow is inescapable, the troubles are inescapable; at this moment, I wish my memories weren't so intense. At this moment, I wish I could gaze at the distant scenery and feel the gentle breeze blowing by nature. Perhaps only under the gentle breeze can I feel happiness at this moment!

　　...

　　(The End)

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